It's Fly Lice You Plick

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Jhoor

I have here a fax from our Montreal branch that's been sitting on my desk for the last week. It was left by the receptionist so I'm pretty sure it's for me, though there's ample room for doubt.

Last I checked, my name is Jon (short for Jonathan).

Most people spell it "John" (short for Johan) but that's a forgivable offense.

In Mexico, it's spelled "Juan" (umm... short for Juanita?).

I always thought that it's spelled "Jean" in Montreal. I wonder where they got "Jhoor" from.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Skewed Interpretation

Understandably, the new guy has been a little distant since the pr0n incident of December 12th. I can tell this because he no longer makes eye contact with me and excuses himself to work in the other office each time I walk in and sit down.

So in order to get back in my good graces, he's been feigning interest in my accounting project. What he does is, he'll come in every half hour or so, look at my screen, lean over my shoulder and ask "is it hard?" After the events that transpired on Monday, I'm having difficulty not taking that question out of context.

I have been quite tempted to respond with "I'm just happy to see you."

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Yarrr!

I had to give a stern lecture to the new guy this afternoon regarding our company's policy on unlicensed (pirated) software. Basically, our stance is: Under no circumstances should pirated software be installed on any of our systems. This has been reiterated at least twice a week to no avail. It's not rocket science, people.

This lecture came after I left my XP workstation unattended for a couple of days and found it loaded up with stacks of software upon my return. He rebutted by saying the software he installed is a "corporate edition" and therefore doesn't need a license. That's like saying, if it's not bolted down, it's free.

So in order to clarify our policy to him, I updated our definition of pirated software. If the software is downloaded from:

  • a warez site
  • P2P file sharing applications (Kazaa, Limewire, etc. etc.)
  • Newsgroups
  • Bittorrents

- then it's probably pirated and shouldn't be installed. The blank expression on his face says that I'm going to have to repeat this lecture again.

Monday, December 12, 2005

On Matters Hardcore

Furious mouse clicking resonated through the office as I negotiated the corner by the new guy's workstation this morning. Peripheral vision suggested an unusual saturation of skin tones and blinking text on his monitor. Perhaps I'm being too subtle. The guy was surfing for porno. I believe it was "Hardcore Honeys" (Hunniez?) or some clever alliteration of the sort.

His exasperated moan, replete with frustration suggested he was having difficulty clearing off his screen. You see, for each window he closed, two would take its place. Imagine my shock.

Would it be wrong for me to assume that this kind of behavior goes against company policy?

What I find odd about the whole situation was that I was in the room the entire time he was surfing. In fact, I was sitting at the boss' desk (checking his email while he's away).

So here's the moral dilemma I face. On one hand, the number of red flags popping up during this guy's training period pose a real cause for concern. On the other hand, there's not enough time to hire and retrain a different guy.

At the end of it all, I decided to pretend I saw nothing and continued to walk past his desk. It's one less thing for me to worry about.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Human Pincushion

With only a little more than a month to go before my trip, it's only sensible I start making a few preparations. The task I set myself for the weekend was to consult my physician for vaccinations I may be required to have for my leg in Laos and Cambodia. I thought that at the most, I'd need some blood tests and maybe a set of Hepatitis shots. I thought three needles tops. I thought wrong.

The doctor says that I'll need the following:
1 x Blood test (I got that done this morning)
3 x Hepatitis (if I don't carry the antibodies - I suspect I don't)

He also gave me the number for the CHR (Calgary Health Region) which will probably administer the following vaccinations:
1 x Tetanus and Diptheria
1 x Typhoid
1 x Tubercolosis
1 x Yellow Fever
1 x Japanese B Encephalitis
1 x Rabies

So I guess I'm going to have bona fide tracklines by the time this is all done. I feel like such a junkie.