Retarded MacGuyver

Okay. I suck at introductions so let's make this quick. There's stuff in the bio. I'm sure I could elaborate but meh.

I guess I'll kick things off with a small work related anecdote.

Today (being a suitable substitute for a long forgotten date) I had instant ramen for lunch. Not just any instant ramen, mind you. Today was Nissin Seafood Curry Cup 'o Noodle day (the best day of the week). A day that brings forth the marvelous delights that only enriched flour, vegetable oil, dehydrated vegetables, salt, chicken powder, curry powder, dried squid, soy sauce powder, monosodium glutamate, dextrose, celery powder, onion powder, spices, hydrolyzed soy, corn and wheat protein, calcium silicate, sugar, chicken fat, garlic powder, potassium carbonate, sodium carbonate, sodium tripolyphosphate, turmeric color, chicken stock, sodium alginate, citric acid, autolyzed yeast extract, natural flavors, disodium guanylate, disodium inosinate, tocopherols, artificial flavors and t-bhq, when mixed in the right proportions, can bring. But I digress.

Our company, being one to minimize costs (read: cheap), does not have the facilities (a kettle) to properly prepare elaborate meals such as this. So in a moment of ingenuity, I decided that alls I had to do was to remove the filter from the coffee machine, replace the pot with my Cup 'o Noodle and pour water through the proper receptacle. In theory, the water goes through the machine as it should but sans coffee. In theory this should have worked. In theory, communism should have worked.

Now there I was, standing by the coffee machine holding my Cup of Noodle under the nozzle. Humming a stupid tune. Smug with my obvious genius. Oblivious to the fact that I put too much water in the machine.

What followed was a blur of chaos, four letter profanity, and grievous injury. The human mind tends to block out traumatic events as a coping mechanism.

Today I am Retarded MacGuyver.