Dumb As Bricks

I don't mean to sound spiteful when I say this. I am just stating fact. Just as the sky is blue, pork buns are tasty and my job sucks, the new guy is dumb. Fact.

Let me elaborate with example.

Conversation fell on the topic of home computers during the morning backup today. The new guy asks "So, what kind of PC do you use at home? is it a laptop?"

To which I reply "Yeah."

His response: "So it's a desktop?"

Wait... Didn't... Didn't I just say?... Huh?

Now take this level of comprehension and apply it to the training process.

But wait, it gets better. About 15 minutes after this conversation, new guy decides to uninstall Winzip. It's his system now so I don't protest. I do, however question his methodology. To uninstall programs under normal conditions, one needs to go to the control panel and click on "Add/Remove Programs." This should be basic knowledge for a computer guy (this is, after all, what we hired him as). He decided it was better to try deleting the Winzip folder from the "Program Files" directory.... While he was using the program to unzip a file.

I had to excuse myself from the training session to clear my head and to search the warehouse for a stick big enough to beat the stupid out of him. I've got my eye on a two by four complete with rusty nail.

Here's the thing. We hired this guy out of desperation (the boss wanted to go to Mexico). What's funny is, the boss' girlfriend lost her passport and their trip was delayed til tomorrow anyway. We could've taken that extra time for some kind of quality assurance. It's alright though. I'm reserving my "I told you so's" for a postcard from a nice beach resort.

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A couple of guys quit on us yesterday so I'm wearing my HR hat again. I'm not complaining. I get to read cover letters like this:

"Good morning,

How are you this fine winter's day. Jesus loves you and I need a job. I hope that you might be able to help me out. Please phone, my number is [--].

Thanks.

Merry Christmas"

Lovely Accent

Mid last week, the boss assigned me the task of tracking down 13 Amp rated BS1362 standard fuses (exciting, I know). Obviously it's because I have nothing better to do. Training the new guy? Unneccesary. Coordinating inventory? That was so last year. Accounting? Our creditors can wait.

Anyway, I finally managed to find a supplier based out in the U.K. and called them up for pricing. I guess they don't get too many calls from these parts because the lady who picked up the line was taken aback by my North American drawl. She said something to the effect of "lovely accent, by the way," which made my head swell up but good.

So because of my "lovely accent," I snagged a 2 "quid" (~20%) discount and a reduced shipping rate. I suddenly feel so foreign and exotic.