There's Poop On The Boss' Desk

And no, it wasn't me.

The mice are back, bowel movements and all.

5 more shifts

Change is Bad

Our receptionist hasn't been on speaking terms with the new guy since he wrecked her workstation a couple of weeks back. You see, he thought it good at the time to load her system up with a bunch of software while she was getting a coffee. It refused to boot by the time she returned. I had to help him restore a backup to get things back in order.

There's a moral to that story in there somewhere.

New guy hasn't picked up on it yet as his "upgrade spree" continues unabated. This time round, he installed a time synching app (useless) on my Windows 98 box, which corrupted the OS. To remedy the situation, he pulled out some Chinese program and proceeded to screw around with the drive partitions, making it that much more difficult to retrieve the data from the drive. We'll find out if I can get any of my work back tomorrow morning.

If it ain't broke, don't break it.

6 more shifts.

Patience

Every time I bring up the report writer application, the new guy inches his chair a little bit closer to my desk. When I pull up my variable lists, he's already couple of feet behind me, breathing his brand of corrosive halitosis (Nabob + Chunk Lite tuna) down my neck. As soon as I start scripting the filter subroutines for our accounting data import, he's barking out orders and asking needless questions as if he owns the place.

A temporary lapse of productivity ensues.

What should've been a simple five minute task today turned into a half hour process because of his interference. Forgive me if things get too technical. This is part of the script I was working on:

IIF(SUBSTR(CUSTNO,4,5) = " ", "CASH", SUBSTR(CUSTNO,4,5))

He wanted:
IIF(CUSTNO = "", "CASH", CUSTNO)

His method of persuasion:
"WHY YOU DO THAT?? YOU PUT FOUR SPACE THERE!!! NO NO NO!!! MY WAY WORK BETTER!! WHAT IS SUBSTR ANYWAY?? AIYAAA!!!"
Note 1: There's no pause for breath anywhere in that statement
Note 2: I was right

I turned around and told him I had everything under control. Noticing my displeasure, he replied "Oh, okay I don't disturb you anymore." He reneged on his promise half a minute later when he began yelling some more.

The boss hires Asians for this position because we are "quiet and industrious."

7 more shifts.

Dear HR Department

An excerpt from a Ms. "babykitten's" cover letter:

"Willing to learn, hard workerOutgoing, dependable, bondableAble to work unsupervised or as a team member

SO STOP !!! DON'T READ ANOTHER RESUME----EXCEPT MINE."

8 more shifts

Cirrhosis Anyone?

In celebration of my impending unemployment, I'm planning on damaging my liver over at this fine establishment:

So if you're in the Calgary area on January 13th and have nothing better to do, come on by. Bring friends. Bring a DD while you're at it too. I should be there around 7PM.

It shouldn't be too difficult to spot me at Urban Rice. I'm the Asian guy.