Patience

Every time I bring up the report writer application, the new guy inches his chair a little bit closer to my desk. When I pull up my variable lists, he's already couple of feet behind me, breathing his brand of corrosive halitosis (Nabob + Chunk Lite tuna) down my neck. As soon as I start scripting the filter subroutines for our accounting data import, he's barking out orders and asking needless questions as if he owns the place.

A temporary lapse of productivity ensues.

What should've been a simple five minute task today turned into a half hour process because of his interference. Forgive me if things get too technical. This is part of the script I was working on:

IIF(SUBSTR(CUSTNO,4,5) = " ", "CASH", SUBSTR(CUSTNO,4,5))

He wanted:
IIF(CUSTNO = "", "CASH", CUSTNO)

His method of persuasion:
"WHY YOU DO THAT?? YOU PUT FOUR SPACE THERE!!! NO NO NO!!! MY WAY WORK BETTER!! WHAT IS SUBSTR ANYWAY?? AIYAAA!!!"
Note 1: There's no pause for breath anywhere in that statement
Note 2: I was right

I turned around and told him I had everything under control. Noticing my displeasure, he replied "Oh, okay I don't disturb you anymore." He reneged on his promise half a minute later when he began yelling some more.

The boss hires Asians for this position because we are "quiet and industrious."

7 more shifts.