Conversational Etiquette

Remember those old Goofus and Gallant comics? It's OK. Neither do I, though I do vaguely recall hearing of them somewhere.

Here's how they work. A situation is given. Gallant does the right thing, his evil counterpart Goofus does the exact opposite.

For example:

A series of major assignments are due on Monday.

Gallant works all weekend so that he can go to law school and make his parents proud.

Goofus puts laxatives in his teacher's coffee to extend the due date.

Now pretend that The New Guy is Goofus for the following scenarios.

Scenario #1:
While being trained on generating branch short lists, you realize that your nails haven't been clipped in weeks.

Gallant accepts the condition of his nails, waits until he gets home and clips them off.

Goofus pulls out the nailclippers (attached to his carkeys) mid conversation and proceeds to give himself a manicure, letting the clippings fall to the floor.

Scenario #2:
During a discussion on system outage, you discover that your junk is itchy.

Gallant waits til the discussion is over, excuses himself, goes to a quiet corner and um... rectifies the situation, making sure to wash his hands after.

Goofus sits himself on a nearby counter, disregarding my presence and goes to town on his junk, making a definable lift and separate motion (think lifting the frank to get to the beans).

Scenario #3:
Another talk (I don't remember the details exactly).

Gallant turns his head 45 degrees from the speaker, covers his mouth and coughs.

Goofus open mouth coughs directly in my face.

12 more shifts.