Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Things aren't working out so well with the new guy. It's not him, it's me.

Okay, fine, it is him.

I do understand that I've been a little bit more irritable as of late due to the pressure of unrealistic deadlines and project overload but I think this guy would get on anybody's nerves even on the best of days. For example, he:

1. Has no concept of personal space. He stands about a foot away when I talk to him. It's not so bad except for the fact that he has a cold and he open mouth coughs all over my face.
   
2. Randomly gets out of his chair and goes to flush the toilet. He did it 8 times yesterday. I'm still not sure why.
   
3. Cut a loud fart mid-conversation on Wednesday. Acted as if nothing happened.
4. Doesn't follow instructions or take notes on important company procedures. Tries to perform these tasks by memory. Screws up database as a result.
5. Cannot control the volume of his voice. Especially when I'm on the phone with our suppliers.
   
6. Interrupts important business related discussions with small talk. E.g. the boss and I were talking about scheduling inventory dates. The new guy cuts in and starts asking about how the boss' stocks were doing.
   
7. Locked everybody out of the men's bathroom. I had to save the day with a gutted out Bic pen.
8. Burned the coffee pot three times. He's been warned twice.
9. Has been trying to load up the company systems with illegal software, knowing full well we've been audited by Microsoft in the past. Not on my watch.

At least I won't be stuck with him for much longer.

Because You Asked So Nicely

Here's your petition:

http://www.petitiononline.com/porkbun/petition.html

Don't use your real email addresses please. I don't want your inboxes to get spammed.

It feels good to know that you're making a difference.

Hypothetical Letters

Dear Pork Bun Factory,

I demand more meat.

Wub,
Your #1 fan,
Jon

Foiled Again

I'm still at work so I guess that plan didn't work either.

It's Worth a Try

Photoshop + Illustrator x Boring Sunday Evening =

Thanks for the idea, Justin. I'm going to try using it tomorrow.

I have my original b&w vector file if anybody wants a printable copy. The email's agentyellow[at sign]gmail.com.