My Desk: A Grand Tour

You can tell a lot about a man's character by the contents of his desk. I think.

1. Pens I've stolen from co-workers.
2. Doodle - "Deathbot 3000"
3. I sketched this on my desk calendar yesterday while M yammered away about his home PC. I don't think he got the point - he visited a few more times later in the day.

4. Bubble wrap - like crack I tells ya.
5. Crumbly Pineapple Cakes. mmmmm
6. Letter opener/prison shiv
7. Key to nowhere. I spent half an hour trying to figure out where it goes. After all that work, I didn't have the heart to throw it out.
8. Paper clip bow (for launching pencils). This was my alternative to Laser Mallet. Laser Mallet won out because I didn't have a pencil sharpener.
9. Sanitary wet napkin. I like to keep one or two of these around considereng all the biohazardous material appearing on my desk lately.
10. Extra large paper clips (hidden in a regular paper clip box). Suckers won't even think to look in there.
11. Misappropriated/Rebranded business cards.
12. Tin of mints (empty).
13. Motivational Ninja vs. Kung Fu Panda.