Break Time

Here's my predicament: I work a boring Monday to Friday desk job. I'm caught up on all major projects. I can't surf the Intarweb because the boss expects that I'm working at all times. There are still two hours 'til quitting time.

It's time for office adventures. The plan for today: Hole myself up in the can with Bejeweled for as long it takes to get a new high score.

10 minutes into the game, my mind starts wandering. What if my co-workers are onto my little scheme? What if they're reporting this to the boss? What would Jesus do? Think Jon. Then it hits me. The only reason my co-workers would think something is amiss is because of the lack of ambient bathroom noises (in this case, making poopy). So I put my game on pause and start....um...vocalizing the required sounds. Think Lamaze but done by a guy.

*grunt*
"hurnnngggmmmmMMMMMFFFFFFF"
"YEEAAARRRGHHH"
*pant pant*
*pause*
[repeat as necessary]

I find that banging the walls with your fist and stamping your feet work well for added effect. After a couple of minutes of this, I figure my co-workers are thoroughly convinced (and disgusted) so I unpause my game and go back to my unfinished business.

Time wasted: 21 minutes.
High Score: 243470
Mission accomplished.